Yes. The rumours are true! At the grand old age of 30…*cough cough*, I still watch Home and Away! This Australian soap was a staple in our household growing up. I would get home from school and watch Grange Hill or Byker Grove then Neighbours, then Home and Away… AND THEN Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or Heartbreak High. Those were the rules. Please advance to go and please collect £200. It was habit that I was unable to quit and even though I often self-flagellate over why I do this to myself, I still tune into the escapades of Summer Bay every damn day. Maybe I have no self respect... or maybe I am just living my best life!
There have been many MANY storylines where I’ve often wondered, “are the script writers partaking in the waccy baccy?” Here are 10 fine examples of moments I’ve cringed behind a cushion/thrown a chicken nugget in disgust at the telly.
One – When Selina got kidnapped by crazy Saul 3 TIMES!
Will someone give her break! You’d think getting yourself into a mess once was enough… but nope it was so shocking the first time that the writers clearly thought screw it… let’s see what happens when we try the same distressing story three fecking times!
Two - Kirsty falls in love with her sister’s rapist.
So, this actually happened, and it was played out like they were tragic but oh so passionate star crossed lovers! All the while us idiots watching were thinking… “I’m pretty sure dating someone who sexually assaulted your sister is not cool or romantic. Ah well. LOL.”
Three – Duncan morphed into an actual adult and my brain hurt.
The casting of Alf’s son was so unrealistic, yet I allowed it because Duncan was always a bit of a boring non-character.
Four – And don't get me started on VJ! He went from a 12-year-old boy to a ripped 25-year-old stripper overnight. Like I mean… even I fancied him!
Five – When John Palmer went mental and starting randomly burning down the Bay.
So, he had a brain tumour that caused blackouts which casually turned him into an arsonist that put his wife in hospital and killed someone. But ya know… he was all sorry and stuff and everyone forgave him because it’s all about supporting the community in Summer Bay.
Six – When Bobby came out of the fridge!
Ailsa was having a bit of a meltdown and next of all Bobby just popped back from the dead via her fridge. Super, and not absolutely terrifying at all!
Seven – When Heath took April’s virginity and then later married her sister.
What is it with wild and nasty sister drama with the same man?! Also, the school uniform thing is creepy.
Eight – Leah being totally shit with men.
They either die or cheat on her. Can someone not give this woman a decent healthy fella already! She’s basically going to end up like Irene working at the diner until she’s 85!
Nine – When Casey was kidnapped in the middle of the Outback and Brax miraculously found him.
Being handcuffed to a burnt-out car in the desert is no biggy when action man Brax can pinpoint your exact location and save you moments from death!
Ten – Totally unrelated… But I’m curious… does anyone actually know how old Alf Stewart is?
Like seriously, he’s been the exact same grumpy old man age for about 30 years now. Impressive.