Behind every good hero, there’s some little prick who has made their life fairly miserable. Good and evil require a balance. The victory lap of our triumphant hero would be slightly embarrassing if they didn’t first outwit/kill their maniacal archenemy. The films of the 1980s birthed many a glorious baddie. Some we love to hate. Some we just straight up hate. And others are so random and farcical that we genuinely have no idea what the hell is going on!
Now look into the camera and be all scary and stuff... (Bennett from Commando 1985)
Here are my top 5 80s villains from some most excellent movies!
Ivan Drago – Rocky IV 1986
This guy was seeeeerious! All buff and ting with his perfectly chiselled jaw and giant steroid enhanced muscles. He did not come to play. First of all, he rocks up and kills Rocky’s best pal Apollo in the ring, and second of all… HE JUST DOESN’T CARE!
This is one film that I can watch a thousand times over. Mainly because the training montage is epic and makes me feel like I too could traverse a snow peaked mountain… if I wanted to. Watching Rocky finally overcome a hostile Soviet Union crowd and beat the shit out of Ivan Drago makes me smile with my whole face!
Biff Tannen – Back to the Future 1985
This guy is the epitome of the word asshat. He’s an irritant to the highest degree but he’s also hilariously stupid/brutal. (Remember that one time he sexually assaults Marty’s mum and hits her. Awkward.) He’s your classic high school bully who finds twisted delight in making others seem weak. Even though he’s a complete tosser, the Back to the Future Trilogy would be lost without this angry man child.
The Fratellis – The Goonies 1985
The fact that grown-ups are persistent in the demise of children makes me nervous laugh! These marauding bandits fronted by Mama Fratelli are terrifying but also add a class touch of hilarity to such a fantastic movie. I feel like the comedy capers of The Fratellis should end with them waving their fist in the air and shouting, “I’ll get you next time you pesky kids!”
General Zod – Superman II 1980
This film is probably my favourite in the Christopher Reeve Superman trilogy. (I’m pretending that Superman IV with Nuclear Man didn’t happen because it was pants!) I mean, this guy... *eye roll*
I just got my nails did!
General Zod is played superbly by legendary actor Terence Stamp. But don’t let his lovely face of manly beardy-ness and slicked back hair fool you. This guy is evil. Along with his backup dancers/Kryptonian criminals they wreck Metropolis because Superman decided he wanted to be human. Fool! The reason I love to hate this classic 80s villain is because General Zod created one of the most iconic scenes from the complete Superman franchise, and for this General, I will kneel!
Johnny Lawrence – The Karate Kid 1984
Another classic bad boy bully from another great 80s movie, The Karate Kid. Now let’s be honest. In a real fight Daniel-san would get his ass handed to him by Johnny. The (illegal) crane kick was a complete fluke but I’m willing to go with it because I’m such a huge fan of this film. The thing with Johnny is that yes, he’s a mean asshole but at the end of the film you can see he is having an internal conflict of character mainly because he finally realises his karate teacher’s demands of breaking bones is kinda unreasonable! We love you Johnny! And your floppy blonde fringe!
It's going to be a no from me scary sensei man....