So, are you rocking the latest fancy pants iPhone like every other unimaginative lemming (including myself!) on the planet? Every time my contract is due for a renewal I curse the moons and the stars at how rubbish my now obsolete iPhone is and threaten to cross over to the dark side of SAMSUNG! However, due to me being a creature of habit/lazy mofo and not being a fan of change, I always continue with Apple and ignore the enticing alternative of Android.
The thing is… I may be turned on with ridiculous uber modern techy shite like paying for groceries via my phone… that can only be opened with my entire giant face BUT I also find myself desperately clinging onto the good old retro inspired days especially when it comes to gaming. If I could carry around my Sega Mega Drive and SNES Mini I would... but I fear that I would be this kind of unnecessary hipster wanker!
When vintage and modernity collide... but you're also still a bit of a twat!
So how do we marry the old grumpy assholes of the world who refuse to move on from their childhood with new technology?? By playing retro video games on your iOS device of choice! Obviously.
Here are my top 5 80s & 90s retro games you can blissfully play on your iPhone all the live long day! I went for simplicity and a heavy dose of nostalgia when picking these. The kind of games that you can tap away on your iPhone when waiting for a bus wishing you called in sick to work! (All games are available for free from the iOS App Store.)
One – Sonic The Hedgehog 2
I mean, Sonic numero uno is fun and all... but Sonic The Hedgehog 2 in my opinion ups the frivolity and merriment when you have your pal Tails in the mix! This game was originally released in 1992 and you can now be happily kicking Dr. “Eggman” Robotnik’s ass on your daily commute into work in 2018! Woooo science and stuff! This version of the iconic Sega game is the most complete with regards to gameplay with a remastered soundtrack we all will instantly recognise. You can play this game for free (with the usual ad free in-app purchases if you like) Explore 12 zones, collect rings, take on the Time Attack mode and you can also fly as Tails!
Two – Snake ‘97
If you didn’t spend hours on your Nokia 3210 following a snake around on dot-matrix screen trying not to die… did you even grow up in the 90s?! This is a homage to yesteryear where we all lost ourselves in the most iconic mobile phone game from the 1990s. Snake has all the old features complete with the same monotone sound effects! Get addicted once again and lose more precious hours of your life on this classic retro game!
Three – PAC-MAN
This highly addictive game is certainly one of, if not THE most popular video games in the entire history of gaming… ever! Recreate the classic arcade feel with your fingers and thumbs as you scurry around in a dark pixelated room popping pills and running away from ghosts! You can play in new tournaments, opt for one of three game difficulty levels including the original 1980 PAC-MAN as well as getting hints and tips along the way. If you’re going to get your retro gaming on, then playing with this iconic character on your iPhone is a good place to start!
Four – Space Invaders
This is another arcade classic from one of the world’s longest running gaming franchises! Earth is being attacked and you need to defend our planet against the relentless assault! Ooooh drama! Space Invaders along with PAC-MAN are classic examples of gameplay getting faster and harder until you die… a bit like life! Play Space Invaders for free on your iPhone by tilting your phone to steer your spaceship and tapping left or right to blow the crap outta the enemy! For an instant gratification and wave of wistfulness, Space Invaders will keep you distracted long enough to miss your stop on the train!
Five – Breakout
Breakout is an Atari classic that had gaming geeks hooked forever… or until your mum called you for dinner! This arcade must-have now can be played on your iPhone with enhanced graphics and added features like power ups and boost control. Sounds exciting right?!! You initially get 10 free levels and then you are able to purchase 200+ additional levels. Get involved and share your top scores with the global leader board, because nothing says I have too much time on my hands like an Atari Breakout top score!