Fresh Retro Juice

It's All Geek To Me!

80s horror

6 Weird Characters From 80s Films That Were Scary AF!

ShemboComment
brenda scary movie.gif

Ah the 1980s! No childproofing or adult supervision because we learned from near death experiences like the well adjusted feral children we were AND still managed to survive! What didn’t kill us made us stronger and the fact that my older brother and I were constantly in and out of A&E with broken bones due to ‘playing’ was an education in itself. What a time to be alive!

As a kid I spent a lot of time in the school summer holidays watching VHS tapes of all kinds of ‘child appropriate’ films. However, with the wisdom of hindsight, there were many MANY films that were just not ok to be watching!

think of the children.gif

This made me think… from the classic to the crazy, which characters from 80s movies definitely gave me unnecessary nightmares?! So, here’s my top 6 strange movie characters from the 1980s that left me with PTSD!

One – The Wheelers (Return to Oz 1985)

Remember that one time when Disney decided to lull us into a false sense of a security and then BAAAM hit us with these…

So scary we made it into a t-shirt!

Along with the headless witch screaming “DOROTHY GAAAALE!!” and all the heads in the cabinets…

retrun to oz.gif

(That scene also ruined me!) The much-anticipated sequel to The Wizard of OZ, riddled my tiny impressionable mind with nightmares. Good times.

Two – Medusa (Clash of The Titans 1981)

medusa clash of the titans.gif

This film always seemed to be showing on a causal Sunday afternoon in my house. And of course, with only one TV, I would have to watch whatever my parents wanted. I was hugely sucked into this story and the stop motion visual effects, and then found myself all of sudden being a fan of Greek mythology. Well… that was until Medusa! Because I apparently didn’t need to sleep that night.  

Three – Jareth The Goblin King (Labyrinth 1986)

jareth bulge.gif

Labyrinth is definitely up there as one of my fave and most memorable films from my childhood. I mean… Bowie! The movie is iconic and is surely stamped into every kid of the 80s heart! BUT let’s remove those rose-tinted specs. Jareth was super weird and fairly terrifying. And not just his distracting man bulge! I’m also not entirely sure why a grown ass man was trying to woo a 15-year-old!

bowie_labyrinth.png

Four – Judge Doom (Who Framed Roger Rabbit 1988)

judge doom who framed roger rabbit.gif

Another classic 80s movie that hits me in the childhood feels! A mashup of live action and animation from the dude (Robert Zemeckis) who brought us Back to the Future. Winner! Amongst the clever hilarity and engaging plot… it was the terrifying antagonist Judge Doom that took things too far… especially with THAT scene which successfully disturbed many small children!

I can’t cope!!!

I can’t cope!!!

Five – Antarean (Cocoon 1985)

A fantasy film about a bunch of old people who discover the fountain of youth… with an added storyline of aliens of course! Now if it wasn’t traumatising enough to see these friendly aliens shed their human skin…

cocoon film skin.gif

…We then had to see the shrivelled up half dead alien too! ANY NEED!!

cocoon dying alien.jpg

Six – Cyborg (Superman III 1983)

superman 3 robot.gif

Granted this film isn’t hailed as the best in the Christopher Reeve Superman franchise, but it beats Superman IV which I like to pretend never really happened! What makes this film iconic are three things: Richard Pryor pretending to be Superman with a tablecloth around his neck, the fight between drunk evil Superman and Clark Kent… and the horrendous scene when villain sidekick Vera gets dragged into a giant computer and turned into a robot! (Sounds legit right?!) This scene had me SHOOK as a kid. The gurgled screams when she gets attacked by the super computer will forever haunt my dreams!

5 Classic 80s & 90s Scary Films With Twist Endings

ShemboComment
horror films with twists .PNG

It’s that time of the month where people get aggressively passionate about their favourite scary movie. Some go for the classic sweet childhood feels of Hocus Pocus, others mention how the first Scream movie formed part of their teenage years, and then you get those who take it far too seriously and tell you about some obscure Japanese film that is not only terrifying but banned in 76 countries! Either way, Halloween is upon us and with that comes spooky themed blog posts that yell, “I’M TRYING TO PARTICIPATE IN SEASONAL MERRIMENT! but I also have a hangover so please be patient with me!”

I’m personally frightened of films that are certificate 15 or above! (12A can sometimes go a little too far but I power through!) The scary movies of the 21st century thus far are usually too messed up for me because they’re the kind of stories where you genuinely think the bonkers scenario can happen to you. Yes sure, I can be dragged to hell or possessed by a demon BUT I can also have my white girlfriend’s family lull me into a false sense of security so they can try and implant their brain into my black body!

get out gif.gif

I prefer the scary movies of the 1980s and 1990s because I can usually distract myself by focusing my energy on the holes in the far fetched storyline or the excellent 90s fashion choices of the cast.

the craft fashion.gif

It’s always easier if I can somehow intellectualise the plot by saying, “that would never happen because… a) her heels are too high b) he definitely would have noticed that bloody hand print on the wall or c) black people would never go and investigate strange noises in a basement!

I’m not going to list my top 80s or 90s scary films, I am however instead going to mention 5 movies whether horror or thriller with a punchy “WTF I didn’t see that coming!” ending. **This blog post is littered with spoilers… but the fact that these films are at least 20 years old makes me think that you only brought this upon yourself as you should’ve watched them by now!**

Se7en 1999

se7en film.jpg

Plot: Starring the slightly above average in the handsome stakes Brad Pitt and the vocal god of all narrators himself Morgan Freeman, comes the story of two cops trying to bring down a serial killer who uses the seven deadly sins as his modus operandi. The movie is spiralling into an epic climax until box-gate!

Twist: A delivery van drops off a box containing Pitt’s character wife's head.

jim carey scare.gif

The killer (Kevin Spacey) then confesses that he did so not just for shits and giggles but because he was envious (the sixth sin) of their family life. Now after seeing his wife’s head in a box, Pitt using his wrath (the seventh sin) shoots the psychopath dead, which is exactly how the killer orchestrated this whole messed up predicament in the first place.

Scream 1996

scream.jpg

Plot: A lot of attractive high schoolers (who are clearly in their 30s but are being casted as teenagers!) are picked off one by one by the serial killer Ghostface. This film directed by horror legend Wes Craven, popularised the teenage slasher movies of the late 90s and brought a sense of satire and dark comedy often taking the piss out of original horror tropes and movies like Halloween and Friday the 13th.

Twist: There is not one killer… but TWO! You assume that it’s just one mentalist but it’s in fact two friends perpetrating the same sick game.

Friday the 13th 1980

firday the 13th film.jpg

Plot: A lad named Jason has an unfortunate accident at Camp Crystal Lake. Soon after, two counsellors are murdered so naturally the camp is closed down (because that’s just a media shit storm everyone needed to avoid)! Jason's body is never found. 22 years later, the camp reopens, only to have someone casually killing counsellors once again. Has Jason returned…?!

Twist: The killer turns out to be Jason’s mother Mrs. Voorhees… But wait, there's more! The last standing counsellor, Alice, kills Jason’s mum. Job done. Sorted! BUT as she goes for a light paddle in a canoe, Jason's now decaying body jumps out of the water and drags her under. The police eventually pull Alice out, but Jason is nowhere to be found… until the next sequel!

Sleepaway Camp 1983

sleepaway camp.jpg

Plot: A simple film about teenagers at another summer camp (I sense a theme!) who obviously begin to mysteriously get murdered. The main protagonist is shy, introverted Angela who is bullied by basically everyone. This movie is laughable with the same quality, dialogue and direction as one of your dad’s home videos of a family holiday to Lanzarote in 1988. It is however infamous for the best/most ridiculous slasher movie twist purely for the big reveal at the end.

Twist: Angela is in fact a boy! He’s called Peter and has been brought up as his dead sister by his eccentric aunt! Totally normal. Sure. The final scene shows “Angela” stark bollock naked revealing his male genitals, whilst holding the severed head of his latest victim.

bill murray.gif

The Sixth Sense 1999

the sixth sense.jpg

Plot: A child psychologist tries to help a cute young boy who thinks he sees the deceased. This movie directed by M Night Shyamalan is still renowned for being that one film which stumped a lot of viewers as the clever ending tricked us all! And of course the line “I see dead people” is instantly recognisable and has been parodied many times.

i see dead people parody.gif

Twist: The psychologist (Bruce Willis) is in fact… A GHOST! He just never knew he was dead. And neither did we damn it! And those who sat back with a smug look on their face and said they totally saw it coming… are liars!